If you are anything like me, you'll know exactly what I'm on about during this post!
- Seeing someone you sort-of know in the street / supermarket / anywhere and wishing you had an invisibility cloak. The onslaught of polite awkwardness is horrendous and you're counting the seconds until you can run away.
- When most (not all) people ask you out you need to be super quick-thinking because you need an excuse NOW. Oh that night? I'm pretty sure I will have a headache that night...
- When you are out in public, maybe in a pub or on a bus, and people sit next to you. There are
alwaysusually spare seats somewhere else, why do people insist on being 3 inches from you?! Cue more polite chit chat. Or petrified chit chat, when you are the only person on the bus & a random creep sits next to you.
- The horror when someone suggests car-sharing to and from work. Whaaat? Don't I see enough of you?! That is why I pay a fortune to keep my car on the road - for the peace and quiet. How do you say 'I'd rather walk the 20 miles to work than car-share with you' in a polite way?
- When people say 'come on it'll be fun'. That one phrase makes me want to throw myself head first into a volcano.
- Personal space is a HUGE issue. I've yet to find a nice way of saying 'get to fuck'.
- People with no manners really piss you off. When a random sneezes / coughs / grunts in your vicinity, you look at them like they just shit on your kitchen floor.
- Asking sales people for help gives you cold sweats. The fake smiles, the small talk, the OTT niceness. End. Me.
- Family or work events need serious mental preparation. Be polite... be polite... smile and be fucking polite goddamnit.
- The perfect night consists of pjs, pizza, netflix and your other half / best friend / remote control / pet. Parties strike fear into your very soul.
- Infact, sometimes you need to schedule in night to 'do nothing'. And when you tell people you have plans to do nothing, they just don't get it.
Life is but a series of tests...